All relationships go through relationship ruts and putting blame on each other will not help your situation. It’s time you rethink how you approach your partner and think of ways to level up your relationship.
Why it is important to invest in your relationship throughout the year?
Relationships are not a one-size-fits-all situation, there are a number of factors that affect its foundation. Some people assume that when they go to a relationship expert or coach, the issues within the relationship will magically disappear and it won’t. It takes time and a good amount of work from both individuals to build a good relationship that lasts and sometimes, the solution to conflicts do not just happen in a day. That’s why it is important that when you are in a committed relationship, you invest in it throughout the year, not just on days that you feel like it.
How to transform your relationship in 12 months?
Invest in yourself
This may seem like the complete opposite of investing in a relationship but investing in yourself first builds a strong foundation. A couple is a mix of two people if one part of that got lost, the whole of the relationship gets affected. A concrete example is when you become too dependent on your partner and you lost your identity. Sooner or later, this will strain the relationship. I’ve seen this happen a couple of times. As much as possible, keep your identity and it is important that you have things in your life that is only for yourself.
Determine what you both want in life and in love
When I say know what you want, it doesn’t mean it has to be determined early in the relationship and has to be set in stone. A relationship is a work in progress, there will always be a give and take and the balance may be tipped at times and during these times, it is important that you know what are your non-negotiables. Is moving out of the question because of your job, which you worked really hard for? Does religion play a big role in your life? When do you feel most appreciated/loved? What you can do is, sit down and think about what you value in life, and write it down on your journal or Notes app (if that’s easier). Again, these things can change over time but it is better to be completely honest with what you want so that you can give your part in the relationship too.
Your partner should do the same too. I always tell this to my clients when they want a relationship refresher. What they can do is sit down and write their love language. If you’re not familiar with love languages, you can start with this beautifully written resource by Dr. Gary Chapman. From there, you will both have a better understanding of yourselves and your relationship. For example, your partner will now know that you feel most loved when he spends time with you (without work or any distractions) while your partner’s love language is verbal, so give them lots of compliments when they share wins or have done something for you.
Be a team
When was the last time that your partner and you have done something together, and not just everyday mundane things like groceries, etc? Having an activity or project that you do together strengthens the bond you have and sparks that fire that flat out in your relationship. Decide on an activity or project together, like taking dance classes, hiking, or building a new house for your dog, the possibilities are endless. This shared activity will regenerate your relationship and can help you destress from work too.
Move forward in 2022
As you’re preparing to toast the new year, share your goals in life and for the relationship with your partner and maybe they can share some of theirs too. After 3 months or so, review these goals and change them as needed. This is a good way to see how far you’ve come and reminded you that you’re on your way to building a remarkable relationship for years to come.
As a relationship coach, I always believed that love takes work and sometimes, it takes someone outside your relationship to have an unbiased look at your situation. If you are looking to level up your relationship, I offer personalized services for all kinds of couples.